Drabble #4

He established himself as an atheist, and yet on occasional moments he glanced at the sky, he could not help thinking that the glorious way the white puffs, hiding behind the sun spreading its rays in all directions like strands of needles, could only be the work of an intelligent artist. It was much too beautiful, detailed, and…intentional to be Coincidence.

If it was the work of nature, he wished Chaos would strike him as much. He wanted to be beautiful, detailed and intentional too.

A small bug crossing underneath him was almost squashed. He wondered what the world would look like in the eyes of the bug. Then thought about a giant, thousand times his size, walking on top of him and shuddered at the imagination. He supposed the streets and roads must have looked like an ant’s colony trails from the giant’s perspective.

He thanked the God (he did not believe in) that he was part of the biggest intelligent living species.

Other random thoughts included bodily functions. More specifically, his stomach. He often wondered how much of the food he ate had been digested in the stomach. He didnt like to contain any more if his stomach still felt full, even though he was hungry.  He liked the way the digestive system worked linearly. It was never much philosophy or hassle with the singular way substances came in and out of the body. The body understood life more than he did.

Apart from these, his head was empty most of the time. He learned to stop thinking of questions. He didnt want to run out of new ones when he looked at the same objects again and again, in his redundant life. His life had long been on replay, and he could only dare to see some tiny corner of it differently each time.


[Drabble 3]

He was overflowing with addiction. In this state, he could not think, but only act. He could not pause, but only go. He could not slow, but only speed up. He reduced to a state of impulsive and yielded to his greatest instinctive desires. He had effectively reduced the state to Animal, a level in which all humans have the privilege of possessing and more importantly, choosing.

This animal threw the faculties of reason and optimized the use of its senses, which were already overused, like the kitchen rag festering with mold and bacteria.

Every pause was torture. Every thought was torture. He could only allow himself to the basics of feeling, breathing, smelling, seeing, and munching away at the precious time that was assigned to him, wasting the present for the future.

At the back of his mind, he knew he was to regret. That was the last hope and saving grace his Reason weakly offered him. A futile attempt to stop himself of the Overdrive. But the shred of Regret-the knowledge of it-only fueled his desire to ruin himself more and willingly plunge deeper into the abyss of Addiction.

After all, Addiction was stronger in the last remaining moments of turning back, as though giving you all the more expectation that its benefit will be worth the loss.

[Drabble 2]

Gradually, he tried to condition himself to becoming Normal. The very word had left a feeling of distaste in his mouth before, but now he willingly embraced it.

He finally realized there was not much difference between normality and sanity. Normal wasnt an absence of sanity, it was a wholly essential constituent of it. He finally realized normality composed of insanity. Without being insane, you couldnt be normal and that was the breaking point to his rebellion against Normal-ness.

Now, he did not quite have to swat of the flies of Delirium as it approached and swarmed about him. They were normal components of Life.

Now, when the familiar chaos set in apprehensively in his heart, he no longer latched onto the first thing that served as a tool for distraction to escape from it. It was normal, everything was normal.

He could feel losing himself to normality, and that just made him all the more insane.



Supreme beings of earth, behold
Carry on endlessly with your meaningful lives
Oh God save our souls, you shout
Rising from the physical realm, you believe in Him that
Can somehow hold you from falling in
Hell where you fear
Eternal fire and torture and true


Life Recorded

Today, I bought my first violin.

When people say love at first sight, they most probably dont mean objects. But as I was walking by the instrumental stores, I can only describe it as.. it was there, in all its string carved wooden glory suspended on a pale wall and somehow, I ended up with a new friend that was completely clueless as I was with its art.

At first it was awkward. We were trying to get used to each other’s differences. Occasionally we stumbled and fumbled, trying to get each other to become familiar. Not quite there yet but somehow, we’re growing on each other.

Today is day one with this auburn friend of mine, soon to be an extended piece of my body.

Happy Birthday violin! This moment of my life has been recorded for future memories to store away.