Exterior-wise, he didn’t show much projections of his anxiety and unrest that brewed inside. He was born with that unfortunate, wretched tendency to be easily bothered and minded much of meticulous details.
Overthinking. That’s whay they call it. He preferred conscious. Though neither of them were a better connotation of the other.
For one, there was something about the way he grappled with staring at people. While walking, on the road, on the stairs, on the train, on anything really, he didn’t quite know where to place his eyes, or what to do with his face. He was fond of civility, so thought of giving these fleeting passerby a smile, every time an eye contact of recognition was made. But that would have meant a neverending pull of facial muscles and eventually tire him out–or worse–appear creepy. He thought of staring blankly ahead, looking at people but not really seeing them, except that never went so long as he preferred noticing details. And finally, he tried to let his eyes be, allowing his gaze to linger or be fixed, hoping the other person would look away on their own. This too, failed, as they also held their gaze, and he was easily so unnerved by the locked stares that went on too long for comfort that he pulled away and unwillingly repeated the whole cycle once again. So he was in a standstill among all the options, calculating whether to smile, perhaps nod, or maybe to ignore, stare faraway.
He liked to blink very slowly, testing the passage of time, which appeared in events pre-blink and post-blink, reminding him what he was seeing was true and according to the laws of nature. He liked to see the instant flashes of black as he blinked, that for a moment he could have the power to shut everything out.
His mind. Always switching, oscillating back and forth between thinking about the most particular details or being aware of the present. Fluttering and flipping between being everywhere and nowhere. Schrodinger would have pat.
He reckoned he would have looked very funny and odd if there had been a mirror reflecting his every moment behavior beside him everyday. It was only until his eyebrows hurt one day that he realized he variated many expressions in a millisecond. Depending on his inner state and what he was seeing, his eyes flickered up down left and right simultaneously widening and narrowing, eyebrows shot up then down to a frown, lips would purse then part a little bit or puckered then bitten. Expressions contorting not really ever having a default mode.